Portugal Experience

Hello all! After a long long time...I'm back! For the past months I've been busy with other problems but now, lets say I'm ok and I want to share about my Erasmus experience in Portugal.

It’s day 4, here, in Coimbra, more exactly Tuesday and it seemed like the day started well…but actually it turned out bad.

I woke up, took a refreshing shower and went down to have breakfast with the others along with a cup of coffee. Everything ok until something had to trigger my emotions. Ovidiu came with a sad, lifeless face, nobody knew what was wrong with him so we left him to sink in his own thoughts.

After our meal, Norbert offered to wash the dishes and Andreea and Ada went to hang the clothes out. I was in the kitchen alone with Norbert hoping he will say something or act somehow. Eventually I saw that it was no use so I grabbed my cup of coffee and went in my room to get dressed. The girls came too, we got dressed and put on some make up and we were ready to go.

Our first stop was the University’s main building where I had to take some papers, because the others had taken them a day before-day that I refused to go out because of one of my issues.

On the road, Norbert teased me that we are making this extra road only because I was stubborn and I didn’t want to come the day before. When we got there, nobody was to reach so we got our map out and started finding our way towards our new destination. Since I didn’t have the necessary papers we postponed our road to the police station and instead we went to get our sim cards.

As we were heading to Alex’s bar, Andreea, Ada and Norbert were exercising their Portuguese that they have been studying at the ISMT course – also, course that I have missed the day before. Also another thing that bother me is that everytime we do our homework, the boys always sit in the girl’s bed and in not in mine – makes me feel left out, isolated. Ok, that was not the trigger tell that got me started.

Since we came here, the boys were admiring Andreea’s ass and her body, including the other girls in the house – same thing that used to happen to me since I can recall. I was never an attraction for boys and I got used with the idea that I’ll never be. This is one of the reasons that made me feel like this. Also it seems that something might be in the air between the 4 romanians and not just friendship or colleagues stuff…I’m talking about something more passionate. Why am I saying this?
Simple, all the gestures, the fact that they spend all their time together like they can’t live apart explains it.

I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but after listening to too much rubbish…we stopped in a nearby parc because Ovi felt like enjoying some fresh air. Me, on the other hand, I felt home sick, or maybe just wanted to have a quiet moment alone, try to put my thoughts back together and cry, so I left them in the parc and ran home with tears in my eyes. I don’t know if someone saw me crying and, sincerely I didn’t care about that at the moment. All that I care about was the fact that I needed a friend close to me, or – even if I know it’s impossible – I hug from him.

As soon as arrived home, I ran up in my room, I changed clothes and jumped into bed with my laptop in my lap and started listening to some music and writing my every thought down.

Not long after, the other came home and the first to come to me was Ada. She started asking me about what I would like to eat. I told her not to bother about me because I really wasn’t in the mood of eating something. She also told me that I should cheer up and stop thinking about him because it’s not worth spoiling my trip here, to Portugal.

I know that Ada is right, Andreea is right and even Ovi, who tried to cheer me up 2 nights before is right, they are all right about what they are saying, but for me…Norbi is all there is, if I could be really happy again, the only way would be for him to return to me – even if I know that is impossible and it hurts me so bad when I think about it.

Krisztina Pako